tired

After a slightly small breakdown this morning I am ready to face the world again for a while

The Bachelorette

Everything is over! well almost everything- my exams are done and i'm graduating (yes, getting a degree!) on thursday. Time is marching on, tonight is our annual GWC social where all the students dress up and have dinner together, my grandfather (the first of our wedding guests) arrived this afternoon and last night was my bachelorette! It was wonderful and magical. My maid of honor, bridesmaids and friends put so much effort into bringing food for the tea, games for the evening, notes written in a special book and just being there for a night that was essentially all about me. [Here are some photos, taken by vicky-the-amazing-photographer].

Frank, the most adorable dog in the world

Do I look excited? It's probably because in 11 days I get to marry Graham! (slightly nervous tone)

My underwear washing line

It really was spectacular, a night of sweet things, hot chocolate, mustaches, running around the pool in underwear, prank phone calls, toilet paper wedding gowns, laughter, lemons, flowers,candles, good food, love, fairy lights, flour, ballet dancing and beautiful music- Thank you to everyone who put their time and effort and happiness into the night.

x

How not to worry about the future

It's an amazing day outside and iv'e spent a fair amount of it inside- at gym, packing my stuff up in boxes, driving around and now trying to study for an exam which is pretty near impossible with Graham playing Diablo 3 next to me.

The  wedding day is creeping closer and it makes me wish that I could start at the beginning of the year again, at a time when I didn't have to worry about our finances, or where we are going to live, the terror of moving to a city that I know nothing about or whether or not I'll suck at running a household. 

And around about half way through my worry/pity Lynsay session I'll remember that I'm marrying graham because I love him and I've entrusted my life and my future to God, who very obviously wants Graham and I in Durban. This year has been the most wonderful year of seeing God at work in answering our prayers and guiding us to where He wants us to be next year. There were so many factors in us not wanting to move to Durban at the end of the year but He has fixed the biggest problems and given graham a job! and me place at university and done things that we couldn't have thought possible- all glory to him. And knowing this makes me feel much better about everything, that no matter how rubbish I am at running a household He will be there looking after us. 

Her: You made my day so special today- thank you 

Him: You make all my days special just by being in them, if you're not in a day then it isn't special.

This thing called love

Its been a crazy past week- a week of lasts, last lectures, last marriage counseling, first of the last exams. In-between we've had to try and fit in wedding things. Most happily this week: my wonderful bridesmaids made me a count down calendar to the wedding- we are now on 26 more sleeps!

Saturday we had a 50th birthday dinner for my dad at an art gallery [I got to introduce Graham to some of the people coming to the wedding]- we had 6 courses... It was pretty difficult to walk after that. Today after my exam I went to tea and talked weddings with Roxi- it is so incredibly awesome having someone close to you get married around the same time as you, it makes it much easier to share worries and fears and you don't feel too stupid when you realize that someone else is worrying about the same things.

[today Graham got me an exam present consisting of a cd, popcorn and chocolate, what a lovely man!] This Afternoon Graham and I went to add some stuff to our gift registry- which of course we have left to the last minute! and to try and find something for Graham to wear to the wedding. Things are moving pretty fast but its not as bad as I thought it would feel.

[the first week of November- Graham is fully into Mustache growing mode]

-lyrics for a song that I found this evening:

When you’re near, I hide my blushing face

And trip on my shoelaces

Grace just isn’t my forté

But it brings me to my knees when you say 

Hello, how are you, my darling today? 

I fall into a pile on the floor 

Puppy love is hard to ignore 

When every little thing you do, 

I do adore 

We’re as different as can be 

I’ve noticed you’re remarkably relaxed 

And I’m overly uptight 

We balance out each other nicely 

You wear sandals in the snow 

In mid-July I still feel cold 

We’re opposites in every way 

But I can’t resist it when you say

Hello, how are you, my darling today? 

a 21st birthday list

Yay it's that time of the year where I get to bore you with things that I want for my birthday. Considering that a week before the 25th November is my bachelorette and a week after my birthday is my kitchen tea I will not be in need of any dodgy underwear or kitchen utensils. 

1. vanilla candles [I'm serious, every year I ask for these and every year I get none] 

2. vanilla fudge from Woolies [Ditto] 

3. Lana del Rey's CD 

4. Stardust DVD 

5. The Knead Eat cookbook 

6. Nail polish [in dark/neutral/pastel colors] 

7. A 2013 Moleskine diary 

8. Leather sandals 

9. A potplant [preferably one that comes with flowers] 

10. A collection of E.E.Cummings' poetry 

11. Birdy's CD 

12. To have my Italian posters block-mounted 

13. Amazing smelling body lotion- if it doesn't smell amazing then I don't want it 

14. A simple, pretty wallet 

15. cashews or pistachios 

 16. yellow roses 

17. A love letter 

18. Words to hang on my walls 

19. A card writing set (yes- I do actually use these) 

20. A chalkboard 

21. kisses. or vanilla candles

Italian Day dreams

An overview of Italy as promised-Florence is the most beautiful place I have ever had the privilege to visit

[Tired feet on the Spanish steps]

Listening to: Landon Pigg 'The boy who never'

A sapphire stone

I haven't shown you my ring! Here the little beauty is:

In practice for the moment soon 

I want to ask you this 

Will you be my bride this june? 

A ring I have, and then a kiss 

 It's a symbol, a brilliant stone 

Of love I have for you 

I hope we bind, to not be lone 

That you share in this too 

 This first ring I shall thread 

Upon 4th finger fit 

And then in June we two be wed 

A band of gold to join it. -Mindy Makuta

A rushed thursday post

Good-morning lovelies, another stunning morning for Cape Town- in fact this whole week has been glorious (even though Graham complains constantly about the wind)- I'm almost at the end of my second last week before exams, so much work, often I don't even realize that its spring and everything is beautiful.

This week Graham and I had our final marriage counseling session (will post some of what we've covered later) mostly because all Graham wants to do is play Settlers of Catan and has peer pressured everyone into playing it for next weeks marriage counseling session. I cannot explain how awesome marriage counseling has been- and I was one of those people who could not see the point in discussing hypothetical situations on a couch with another couple when I would probably forget all that was said by the next morning- I've been reformed. clearly. On Tuesday before we went out, I chanced to find this article: http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html

It's really insightful and makes good points.

In other exciting news today my bridesmaids and I are going for our hair trial for the wedding (which is in 37 days!) and then Graham and I have date night- our name for thursday night, the one night of the week that we will put everything else off so that we can spend time together. We usually go to TriBeCa for their burger deal, or for sushi at Food lovers market or to my most favorite eating place in the whole of cape town and where we are going tonight, Hudsons. Mmmh Yes!

[And now to get back to finishing a sermon for tomorrow- if anyone figures out the reason for the riddle in Judges 14 do tell] x

Save the date

You've missed out on so much! Here are a few of our save the date photos taken by R (assisted by N) none of them made it into the actual save the date invites- there were just so many lovely photos to choose from! Just looking at them makes me smile.

You also missed out on the proposal, so here is the story: She knew that it was coming, he was going home that weekend and every day was passed in agonizing anticipation. Friday came- her best friends birthday, it rained all day and she spent most of the morning and afternoon in doors finishing an assignment. They had lunch together and then he left her to sleep for a while before they went out that evening. She woke up to him banging on the door, she was angry that he had woken her and stormed downstairs, wrenched the door open and told him to make some tea, then she made a fire and sat down next to it. He mumbled that he had forgotten his cellphone in the car and went outside again. He came back with a bag from which he pulled a bunch of red roses, chocolate spread, strawberries, and a bottle of appetizer. It took her a while to realize what was going on and by the time she had realized he was already on his knee in front of her with a permanent marker in his hand. He carefully drew a ring around her finger and then looked into her eyes "will you marry me Lynsay?" so many tears followed, only remedied by a picnic of strawberries and chocolate next to the fire (just like our first picnic).

If you so want to read about what's happened to me in the past few months you can read my best friends blog here: http://whenyoucannotsleep.blogspot.com/2012/09/love-is-in-air.html and here: http://whenyoucannotsleep.blogspot.com/2012/10/italys-romance.html

Here in your arms

Surprise! I'm sure you never thought you'd hear from me again. Well, after taking a sabbatical from blogging to try and deal with life i've realized that I should probably blog about the hectic things that are happening in life- rather than spending time trying to sort said things out (end of apology/explanation). In other news, it has been the longest week of my entire life. This time last week I was still adjusting to South African soil after being torn from lovely Italy, to come back here and do assignments.

[If anyone was wondering- I detest this new blogger layout, I have to figure out how to make my pictures big again... I don't even know how I did it the first time]

Its almost the end of October! This painfully means that it's 2 weeks until my final exams (for the end of my degree!) and one month until I marry G. It's all a bit unbelievable sometimes. The weeks have been so filled with getting things ready for the wedding, booking venues, caterers, photographers, decor coordinators, finding all the information needed to send out invitations, getting a dress (which is amazing!), doing marriage counseling [and then studying and planning next year on top of all of that] that when I sit back for a while I'm shocked at how fast everything has moved.

[fantastic- more tiny little pictures] 
This evening I listened to a song that I haven't heard in 4 or so years and listening to it brought back all the memories from high school, here is the chorus: 

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me. 

Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly." 

I fell in love, in love with you suddenly. 

Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms. 

 Its good to be back x

truly scrumptious

heck, i know its been forever since I last posted and I was going to post about my ever-so-exciting life tonight, but then I found the recipe for "Pull apart lemon coffee cake" and I can't not share it (so much happiness could be brought to the world through this cake)

Pull Apart Lemon Coffee Cake (Bread):

Sweet Yeast Dough

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour (You might not use all of this)

1/4 cup granulated sugar

2 1/4 teaspoons (1 envelope)

instant yeast

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup whole milk

2 ounces unsalted butter

1/4 cup (2 fluid ounces) water

1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

2 large eggs, at room temperature

Lemon Sugar Filling

1/2 cup granulated sugarZest of three lemons

1 tablespoon finely grated orange zest

2 ounces unsalted butter, melted

Tangy Cream Cheese Icing

3 ounces cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon whole milk

1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Make the dough:1. In the microwave heat the butter and the milk together until the butter melts. Set aside to cool slightly. While it is cooling Mix two cups of the flour with the yeast and the sugar in the bowl of a mixer. Then add the water to the milk mixture and stir in the vanilla extract

2. Pour the milk mixture over the flour mixer and stir until combined. Turn the mixer on low speed and add the eggs one at a time, mixing each egg until it is combined. Add another 1/2 of the flour and the salt and mix till combined.

3. Sprinkle the dough with 2 tbsp of flour and knead it with the dough hook for 3 minutes. The dough will be sticky but should become soft and smooth from the kneading. Place the dough in a large bowl, cover it with plastic wrap, and let it rise in a warm place 45-60 minutes or until doubled in size.

Make Ahead Tip: If you want to make the dough the night before you bake it just gently deflate the dough after its first rise, place back in the bowl and cover it with plastic. Stick it in the fridge overnight (it will continue to rise, but at a much slower rate. Plus you get added flavor in the bread from the benefit of a slow, cold rise) The next day take the dough out and bring it to room temperature before proceeding with the next steps. I like to cover my dough with a damp piece of paper towel and stick it in my oven at the lowest temperature until it is room temp.

4. Mix the sugar, lemon zest, and orange zest. It will draw out the citrus oils and make the sugar sandy and fragrant.

5. Preheat the oven to 175°C. Grease a 9″x5″ loaf pan or spray it will baking spray

6. Forming the loaf: Deflate the dough with your hand. Flour a work surface and roll the dough into a 20″ by 12″ rectangle. This part is a lot easier with a ruler on hand! Use a pastry brush to thickly coat the dough with the melted butter

7. Use a pizza cutter, pastry cutter, or a sharp knife to cut the dough crosswise in five strips, each about 12″ by 4″ (it might not be this exact size, but try to make the five strips be equal sizes). Sprinkle 1 1/2 tablespoons of the lemon sugar over the first buttered rectangle and gently press the sugar in. Top it with a second rectangle, sprinkling that one with 1 1/2 tablespoons of lemon sugar as well. Continue to top with rectangles and sprinkle, so you have a stack of five 12″ by 4″ rectangles, all buttered and topped with lemon sugar.

8. Slice this new stack crosswise, through all five layers, into 6 equal rectangles (each should be 4″ by 2″.) Carefully transfer these strips of dough into the loaf pan, cut edges up, side by side. it might be a little roomy, but the bread will rise and expand after baking. Loosely cover the pan with plastic wrap and let the dough rise in a warm place until puffy and almost doubled in size, 30 to 50 minutes.

9.Bake the loaf for 20 minutes and then check to make sure that top isn't browning too quickly. If it is, just cover the top of the loaf with tinfoil and continue baking. My loaf took a little over 40 minutes to bake completely. When done, transfer to a wire rack and let cool in the pan for 10 to 15 minutes.

10. Meanwhile, make the cream cheese icing. Beat the cream cheese and powdered sugar in a medium bowl with a wooden spoon until smooth, then add the milk and lemon juice. Stir until creamy and smooth. Spread over the warm bread (you might want to put some plastic wrap or parchment paper under the bread to catch the drips)

[This is perfect for winter- I can't wait to make it!] found at:seddy5.typepad.com/blog

have a goodnight x

an autumn post

The best thing to have for breakfast in Autumn? Home made porridge with honey.

An Autumn Evening:
Dark hills against a hollow crocus sky
Scarfed with its crimson pennons, and below
The dome of sunset long, hushed valleys lie
Cradling the twilight, where the lone winds blow
And wake among the harps of leafless trees
Fantastic runes and mournful melodies.
The chilly purple air is threaded through
With silver from the rising moon afar,
And from a gulf of clear, unfathomed blue
In the southwest glimmers a great gold star
Above the darkening druid glens of fir
Where beckoning boughs and elfin voices stir.
And so I wander through the shadows still,
And look and listen with a rapt delight,
Pausing again and yet again at will
To drink the elusive beauty of the night,
Until my soul is filled, as some deep cup,
That with divine enchantment is brimmed up

-Lucy Maud Montgomery

When else would it be acceptable to wear something like this? all the brown clothes in my closet lie in wait for this season.

[a side note: the confusing thing about Autumn in Cape Town is that we sometimes get very hot days, with hot winds, an experienced Capetonian would understand that this means cold weather is on its way. yesterday was like that, hot and windy, and I felt like the princess in 'Prince of Persia'. today its raining]

a jumbled up week

The crisp autumn mornings are upon us. This week I hauled out my winter clothing and (at the excitement of seeing them again) have been innapropriately been lounging around the house in my stockings and jumpers. Which is fine, because they hide the fact that Ive eaten chocolate easter bunnies for breakfast every morning this week.

In other news, two of my friends got engaged [and i am over-the-moon happy for them] so it feels like the universe is rubbing my lack of engagement in my face.okay, im being a bit dramatic, but its difficult, anticipating something for such a long time and then seeing other people get it while you're still [maybe not so patiently] waiting.

But its been a good week, all in all, and we should celebrate with some cake

the happiest of days

Happiest of wednesdays!today is beautiful because he is home. yes folks, i can now function as a normal human being again. After a long and happy day yesterday we went to tour the new blueroute and my goodgrief there are some lovely dresses in forever new. [secretly iv'e always wanted to dye my hair pink or purple]

looking forward to another wonderful evening tonight and we have begun the upward climb to easter-a womans worst nightmare: do i partake in the chocolate eating which i want so badly to do or do i remain un-fat and unhappy because i have eaten no chocolate? these are the questions that plague us.
x

welcome to my perfect life

I love the rain. not the misty drizzle-type rain, but the thundering, gushing, fierce rain that leaves everything soaking wet and gives everything a thorough cleaning. That's why i like the rain, because it feels like it can clean anything. right now its washing away the sand and the dirt from our window-panes and our front steps and its cleaning out the despair and worry in my heart. I wish that everytime they made me feel worthless, like nothing and ashamed to be who I am, that it would rain and rain until any memories were washed away.

[i wish everything could be clean again]