Friday, January 27, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
ive been having bad dreams again. But this time he is here to sit with me until i fall asleep again. Everything feels so strange- and two weeks ago feels like it was part of another life. Ive been listening to a cd he gave me for christmas, my favourite song is called The Blue sweater [i apologise for my pathetic state. as I said everything feels rather strange at the moment. things that were so obvious and certain have become unclear and im not too sure how to move forward from this point] things that make me feel calmer: roses (yes i am the girl who stands in the rose section at the nursery for 2 hours) and stretching- its remarkably effective.
I'll play the sweet sound of your voice inside my head
Like a record
And I'll smell the wonderful scent, oh, you captured within
Your blue sweater
I wish everytime you came into my mind I could
Write you a letter
Words can't contain what I feel so for now, I'll just wait 'til
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Happy Tuesday. I have waited for today to come since the end of last year...today we begin our Lord of the Rings marathon [is completely irrationally excited about this]in anticipation of the hobbit which I may or may not be counting down the days to see. Ah dear, well now you know how much of a fantasy geek I am. you were going to find out sometime. (here are some lovely tuesday things)
And the heart is hard to translate,
It has a language of it's own,
It talks and tongues and quiet sighs and prayers and proclamations,
In the grand days of great men and the smallest of gestures,
In short shallow gasps.
And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.
I will report back on my life as soon as ive had a long[ish] nap
Sunday, January 22, 2012
its late at night. its so hot i can barely breathe and the music thats blasting from my ipod makes me want to get up and dance the salsa [i dont even know how to dance the salsa!] what better time to post my week in pictures? having G back with me has seen my daily tea intake increase quite drastically-
and it was back to school this week. this however has had little effect on my life, ive still been reading tolstoy 'till 2am and suntanning in the garden in the afternoons. [my mom has gone nuts for iced tea and makes 2 pitchers of it every day... no one drink it so i'm not sure where it goes...]
the days have mostly just been made up of lazy sunny daydreaming times [which is a welcome change from the hellish nightmare week that was the week before]
[listening to: 'wanted to write a love song' by the cat empire]
We got acquainted on a warm summer's night top floor of your apartment was where we started clicking for the first time. And our future it was so bright. I was there to be your melody and under the impression that you would be my harmony.
Being a creature who likes structure and something to work towards, I have forgotten about christmas and new year (depsite them being less than a month ago) and have moved right on to planning valentines day. In my mind I envision valentines day this year as being spectacular, in reality I know it will be little more than me slaving away in the kitchen on February the 13th and then handing out various baked goods to people the next day. nevertheless, I intend to make those 'baked goods' marvelous.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
its the most wonderful perfect day outside [and i'm going for a picnic with him!] its hard to believe its been a week since he got back to me-and a week since i started breathing again- a week since i began writing poetry again, a week since i re-discovered that i have the best friends and family in the whole world. a week since i realised that life is not as simple as it seems and that chocolate really does make you happy. its been a week since i discovered that not everyone can be trusted, and a week since i discovered that trust is the thing i value most in my relationships. [at the moment-and in most moments with him:]
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
my heart has sunk into a dark place and my mind is restless.the trust you worked so hard to cultivate in me is gone (you are just like the others before) am i ever going to smile again? im amongst the despair and the hope i feel [the hope im clinging to] i have you remind myself "your will be done" and it doesnt take my pain away. but it makes me remember that there is still someone who loves me. yesterday, today and forever. He will never change.