Monday, January 28, 2013

Sex and the City ramblings

The last few days have been spent in a dreamy heat-induced haze but now the rain has come and black clouds are permanently hanging over the city. Graham and I spent the weekend taking it in turns to recover from being sick, watching Les Mis (finally! I spent most of it crying and Graham spent most of it dozing off) and generally spending time being happily married. Most days I spend time writing, reading, house hunting, organizing our lives and waiting for the time when I can fetch him and we can go down to the beach together- this time makes all the alone time worthwhile.

Spending time by myself has been bliss, time to do my favorite things, time to take myself out for lunch, time to sleep and dream, time to reflect and to learn new things. It's also given me time to watch many many DVDs, yesterday it was Amelie, it made me fall in love with france again- another place I'd love to take Graham.

Currently the DVD is Sex and the City 2 (disclaimer: I've never watched the series, only the two movies) and I LOVE it, I love the glamour and the fashion and New York. What I don't enjoy too much is the way that the series seems to reflect (perhaps because it is part of the cause) the way women think about love, money, marriage and life in general. It comments that the only acceptable way for a woman to live is completely independently of men, one hundred percent for themselves and to the fullest until they are completely satisfied with their sex lives, their need to travel and their fulfillment through work. This way of thinking is so common that when a young girl comes along never having lived over seas, never having had a job, never having perfected her bedroom skills, having lived as selflessly as possible and who finds her fulfillment not in what she aspires to or what she has achieved but in Jesus Christ, when this girl comes along and decides to get married at 21 people don't know what do do with her. Most people just freak out, tell her she has so much more life to experience before she can remotely be ready for marriage. They tell her that she doesn't even know herself yet and that she has to know herself before she can marry anyone else. They tell her that she should get a job first so that she can support herself without having to rely on him. 

A long time ago women fought to have the kind of independence shown in Sex and the City but now the young girl has to fight back at that way of thinking. She has had to tell many people that the life they want her to experience isn't necessarily the life she wants- and besides, any life without him next to her is so much less exciting- she has had to tell them that she know exactly who she is, a Christian, the most important thing about her- and besides, being married changes who you are whether you want it to or not, so even if you know who you are before marriage you might not recognize yourself after. And she has had to tell them that she is going to work hard and be independent but that she also really enjoys relying on him and having him look after her. I think that true freedom for women should be having the ability and opportunity to decide wether she wants to work for 20 years and then after moving in with her boyfriend marry him (Carrie Bradshaw) or whether after 3 years of studying she wants to marry her boyfriend and move with him to wherever his job is (Lynsay Heslop) and not be hauled over the coals for whatever decision she makes. 

If you have any thoughts, or you need to leave an angry reply please do comment or Facebook or email. 
I'm off to enjoy tea in the rain x

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Pictures of Houses

House Hunting is hard. I spend a few hours a day on Gumtree and then emailing people to arrange times to see the houses. Most times someone else sneakily rents the house before I can even get to look at it. Frustrating. So I occupy my need for a house (Not a superficial need as all our stuff is arriving tomorrow) by looking at pictures of beautiful houses.

“The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Royal Family are not like you and me. They live in houses so big that you can walk round all day and never need to meet your spouse. The Queen and Prince Philip have never shared a bedroom in their lives. They don't even have breakfast together. -A. N. Wilson

“A house without books is like a room without windows.” ― Horace Mann

“Oh, I wish I lived in a caravan!’ said Jimmy longingly. ‘How lovely it must be to live in a house that has wheels and can go away down the lanes and through the towns, and stand still in fields at night!”― Enid Blyton, Mr Galliano's Circus

In news aside from finding houses, i've made dinner for two nights running! This is an incredible achievement, and Graham has enjoyed it both times (although he could just be throwing it out of the window whenever I'm not looking). Being able to cook feels amazing- I wonder why I ever doubted myself.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Mrs Heslop

First post of married life! it's taken a while, not because there has been a lack of inspiration (maybe because there has been to much...) mostly because we have been busy settling into our new life. Getting used to sharing a bed with a man who subconsciously takes pleasure in elbowing his wife in the back throughout the night, moving away from the life I have spent 12 years making in Cape Town, new people and new confusing places to drive around (i get lost regularly).

Every day I have a list of seemingly impossible tasks to get through, ranging from reversing out of our driveway to driving kilometers out of my comfort zone to have tea, and every time I get through a task I feel as if i've accomplished something monumental-it's the only way I'm getting through new, but scary, adventures. 

The greatest of these tasks is yet to come, in 3 weeks, when I clumsily make my way to UKZN for registration and then again for classes. It's terrifying and also really exciting to be starting work again.

In the meantime I have contented myself with learning how to cook (oh yes, wives do that!) and spending ridiculous amounts of time watching DVDs-most recent was Julie & Julia which has whetted my appetite for being able to cook really well- 
Thanks followers for being so patient x