for him

Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance
I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down
Would you let me lead, you can step on my feet
Give it a try, it will be alright.

The room's hush, hush
And now's our moment
Take it in, feel it all and hold it
Eyes on you, eyes on me
We're doing this right.

Cause lovers dance, when they're feeling in love
Spotlight shining, its all about us
It's all about us.
And every heart in the room will melt,
This feeling I've never felt but,
It's all about us

i wish you were here

autumn holidays are upon us. what to do...what to do...sleep, mostly. and cram college work in at the end. sounds like my kind of holiday. It really did begin well, a night with R lastnight, lunch with B today and then a market with V in the morning. lovely.

G has left again, and i feel empty again. ohmygosh it really does feel awful when I cant see him every day [or even every second day] i'm trying to fill the lost-ness with chicken and avo wraps [dont freak out or anything but ive had 3 of those today]I just want to tell him this:

thats all

a beautiful word

waiting for the rain to come. we had a college tea today and I ate too much, why would people even put doughnuts out when they know I have the willpower of a teaspoon when it comes to them?

today I was supposed to get out of my no-work-rut and do something other than taking reading notes, but instead i crawled deeper into it by watching gossip girl and not going to gym. and by being in a state of general self loathing.

I wish you could have seen G today. gosh sometimes I forget that he's mine and then I get taken by surprise when he comes up to me and hugs me (is it okay to still get butterflies when he looks at me and smiles?)

shiny pretty things

If youre reading this at 3:30pm you'll be glad to know that monday is almost over.

(cue moaning)I feel as if I haven't had a weekend for the past two weeks and despite the happiness I felt that March has arrived the weather hasn't obligingly cooled down enough for me to wear my new ankle boots-what the heck is going on here? Everything may be compounded by the fact that I have way too much work and am frequently having to wake up at 4am to just get through the next day. [despite the moaning she really does feel very happy at the moment]

its 10days until G leaves for durban again [she puts on her nervous face]I hate him leaving but I love knowing that he's going to come back-and usually that feeling is bigger than the sadness- On saturday we had my sisters 18th birthday at our house (we're still finding glitter everywhere) and as a result we have a surplus of leftover food. this actually just means that i'm going to get fat.er.

[wedding blog trawling makes mondays bearable]

wednesday ramblings

Happy day-after-valentines-day. I hope you're all still basking in the sunshine and happiness of yesterday. Mine was, happily, simple. G wrote me a love letter and I made dinner -picnic style- and cookie dough icecream. As you can see, valentines day makes my inner culinary goddess run rampant [sarcasm] at any rate, I am thankful for valentines day because for days afterward we have lindt chocolate lying around the house. As if it was normal.

Tonight is exciting. I have been waiting for tonight since last year. G got us tickets to see Shakespeares' A comedy of errors at Maynardville. I love watching his plays there & i've done it ever since I was 13. It's magical and really the only way for Shakespeare to be done (although it usually rains). [a lovely thing to do]:

I hope your wednesday has been as dreamy and relaxed as mine. 2 productive days per week are quite enough for me. x

sweet tuesday things

Happy Tuesday. I have waited for today to come since the end of last year...today we begin our Lord of the Rings marathon [is completely irrationally excited about this]in anticipation of the hobbit which I may or may not be counting down the days to see. Ah dear, well now you know how much of a fantasy geek I am. you were going to find out sometime. (here are some lovely tuesday things)

And the heart is hard to translate,
It has a language of it's own,
It talks and tongues and quiet sighs and prayers and proclamations,
In the grand days of great men and the smallest of gestures,
In short shallow gasps.

And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.

I will report back on my life as soon as ive had a long[ish] nap

this week in pictures

its late at night. its so hot i can barely breathe and the music thats blasting from my ipod makes me want to get up and dance the salsa [i dont even know how to dance the salsa!] what better time to post my week in pictures? having G back with me has seen my daily tea intake increase quite drastically-

and it was back to school this week. this however has had little effect on my life, ive still been reading tolstoy 'till 2am and suntanning in the garden in the afternoons. [my mom has gone nuts for iced tea and makes 2 pitchers of it every day... no one drink it so i'm not sure where it goes...]


the days have mostly just been made up of lazy sunny daydreaming times [which is a welcome change from the hellish nightmare week that was the week before]
[listening to: 'wanted to write a love song' by the cat empire]

We got acquainted on a warm summer's night top floor of your apartment was where we started clicking for the first time. And our future it was so bright. I was there to be your melody and under the impression that you would be my harmony.

life is beautiful

its the most wonderful perfect day outside [and i'm going for a picnic with him!] its hard to believe its been a week since he got back to me-and a week since i started breathing again- a week since i began writing poetry again, a week since i re-discovered that i have the best friends and family in the whole world. a week since i realised that life is not as simple as it seems and that chocolate really does make you happy. its been a week since i discovered that not everyone can be trusted, and a week since i discovered that trust is the thing i value most in my relationships. [at the moment-and in most moments with him:]

your will be done

my heart has sunk into a dark place and my mind is restless.the trust you worked so hard to cultivate in me is gone (you are just like the others before) am i ever going to smile again? im amongst the despair and the hope i feel [the hope im clinging to] i have you remind myself "your will be done" and it doesnt take my pain away. but it makes me remember that there is still someone who loves me. yesterday, today and forever. He will never change.

Christmas ramblings

Happy tuesday? wednesday? The best kind of holiday is one where you cannot remember the time or the date or what day of the week it is. I hope you're getting excited about christmas. I can't get excited because its all happening so fast, thus this is pretty much my life right now:

I just want 2012 to begin (a side-track from my moaning) today I did something huge. I cut my hair off-well not "I" by the hairdresser- yes my long beautiful princess hair that I have been gently nurturing for 3 years now. I'm not altogether sure why I did it...anyway, it is now a bob (a very nice looking one by the way) and I am like the princess in Tangled, who cut her hair but was still a princess afterwards.

My mother has taken it upon herself to decorate the house in such a way, that no matter what time of the day it is if you walk into our house it's pitch black with candles everywhere and silent night playing softly in the background.

Christmas always reminds me of Harry Potter [think about it, all you HP lovers, Harry Potter has awesome Christmases] In other news; I am going to Durban in 4 days! 4 days 'till I see G again [she worries about what he will think of her hair]
its time to get me and my new hair to bed, sleeptight

not blogging about him

I've refrained from blogging because everything I want to say is about him-and that would be boring for you to read right?- (continues anyway) he left everything here, his car, his clothes, his guitar. Sometimes I forget that he's gone and come home thinking that he's waiting for me inside. Those are sad days. [When you spend everyday with someone, its hard to know how to function properly when they're gone.]

It's 3 days (i counted that on my fingers) 'till camp. I want to be excited about it but i'm too worried to look forward to a week away from home. I am, however, looking forward to seeing people I haven't seen in forever-people I love. Everything has been a bit mixed up lately, there have been too many strong emotions in my brain and now i think its a bit tired.

[today-one year]today is special because we've been going out for 10months. this is an achievement for me (everyday is an achievement for me)

2days ago I finished the inheritance series. I'm not sure if i can recommend it-some parts were good, but mostly it just reminded me of lord of the rings and how much better lord of the rings is. (can you wish some lovely weather on capetown?)

she always wears yellow

The heat today is suffocating, and a thick haze of summer has descended on the city. its making me feel lethargic [and due to the rubgy this morning i wish that i could be doing nothing in the sunshine]

listening to: the cd my lovely boyfriend gave me yesterday
"Because when she acts like herself
I swear that she outshines everyone else
But shes been feeling alone
And nobody's fine on their own
Don't you know

And shes been wearing gray
Without a thought of change
And I've been desperately
Trying to make her see
That even when it rains
The sun is still ablaze
And right now in the dark
She is my shining star"

burgers and a boyfriend

I'm coming to the last of my green jelly, and all I want now is real food. or nutella.
[I found some of my food pictures. I can hardly keep going down the green-jelly road when I look at these]

what the heck? How is this a food picture? [its lovely to look at all the same]

ohgosh. the weather outside is wonderful. I just want to be at the beach- in the sun. not inside under my blanket with a headache. [the weekend is almost upon us!! something to make me happier]
peace out x

And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the Daffodils

As much a I try to convince myself that it's getting warmer, the weather seems to be working hard to oppose my happy thoughts. [Happily though, monday is almost over! and it's less than 3weeks until September holidays] [I haven't done this in a long time] happy cupcake monday! The cupcakes below are pumpkin cupcakes. ah! How I wish they were in my tummy right now. Yesterday G & i were reading poetry and when i read this to him i'd forgotten how much i loved it. [it reminds me of summer]

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

how to: not get your work done

Its thursday, my favourite day of the week, and I'm making toasted sandwiches which will go very nicely with the episode of the mentalist that I'm going to watch [to try and distract myself from my workload] So the other day G, who is always full of good ideas, suggested that I start a new blog- while keeping this one- on food. What do you think?

[I am working through Micah at the moment and so far these verses are still the ones that stand out the most]

"Look! The LORD is coming from his dwelling place;
he comes down and treads on the heights of the earth

The mountains melt beneath him
and the valleys split apart,
like wax before the fire,
like water rushing down a slope." [Micah 1:3-4]

what amazing imagery. I hope your thursday is lovely x

post-sunday-lunch wafflings

This week I found our first spring blossoms [on the jasmine tree] I cannot believe that winter is almost over [and uncharacteristically of me, I can't wait for summer]Today I wore flowers in my hair & listened to jax pannik while I got dressed- I've been listening to them all week, their music makes me feel fierce.

Tomorrow G&I have been going out for 6months, which, when I think about it makes me so happy [I feel like it's been a lot longer than that] & I couldn't have dreamed up a better young man.

its been an icy could week. [i have found a new favourite blog] http://hermionejg.tumblr.com/

[adorable]

My food has reached my brain, which is now demanding naptime. sleeptight all x

cold weather musings

Dear thursday: why have you come so soon? Its raining and miserable [the best kind of weather] and I therefore do not feel guilty about eating half the nutella, or drinking 3cups of tea in 2hours. Yesterday G and I went to watch the Hangover2. heck, in the future I will stay away from all movies involving Asian strip club scenes. [reflects] we have actually watched so many movies this week. On Monday we watched Fight Club which was really brilliant but had way too much blood in. [wishes she could watch tangled now but know that there are a million m&m biscuits in the kitchen waiting to be baked]

As a side note, I've pretty much made it in life-today J used me as an example in his sermon, well he used my "fairy hair that glows golden in the sunlight" in his sermon but whatever I felt pretty special :)
x