much love

Being a creature who likes structure and something to work towards, I have forgotten about christmas and new year (depsite them being less than a month ago) and have moved right on to planning valentines day. In my mind I envision valentines day this year as being spectacular, in reality I know it will be little more than me slaving away in the kitchen on February the 13th and then handing out various baked goods to people the next day. nevertheless, I intend to make those 'baked goods' marvelous.

[the search for the perfect valentines day goodies continues...]

life is beautiful

its the most wonderful perfect day outside [and i'm going for a picnic with him!] its hard to believe its been a week since he got back to me-and a week since i started breathing again- a week since i began writing poetry again, a week since i re-discovered that i have the best friends and family in the whole world. a week since i realised that life is not as simple as it seems and that chocolate really does make you happy. its been a week since i discovered that not everyone can be trusted, and a week since i discovered that trust is the thing i value most in my relationships. [at the moment-and in most moments with him:]

your will be done

my heart has sunk into a dark place and my mind is restless.the trust you worked so hard to cultivate in me is gone (you are just like the others before) am i ever going to smile again? im amongst the despair and the hope i feel [the hope im clinging to] i have you remind myself "your will be done" and it doesnt take my pain away. but it makes me remember that there is still someone who loves me. yesterday, today and forever. He will never change.

Christmas ramblings

Happy tuesday? wednesday? The best kind of holiday is one where you cannot remember the time or the date or what day of the week it is. I hope you're getting excited about christmas. I can't get excited because its all happening so fast, thus this is pretty much my life right now:

I just want 2012 to begin (a side-track from my moaning) today I did something huge. I cut my hair off-well not "I" by the hairdresser- yes my long beautiful princess hair that I have been gently nurturing for 3 years now. I'm not altogether sure why I did it...anyway, it is now a bob (a very nice looking one by the way) and I am like the princess in Tangled, who cut her hair but was still a princess afterwards.

My mother has taken it upon herself to decorate the house in such a way, that no matter what time of the day it is if you walk into our house it's pitch black with candles everywhere and silent night playing softly in the background.

Christmas always reminds me of Harry Potter [think about it, all you HP lovers, Harry Potter has awesome Christmases] In other news; I am going to Durban in 4 days! 4 days 'till I see G again [she worries about what he will think of her hair]
its time to get me and my new hair to bed, sleeptight

how to: make lavender hot chocolate

I hope its not too strange that my first post in a long while is about how to make lavender hotchocolate. I found the recipe and it was way too amazing not to share with all of you.

hot chocolate:

2 cups whole milk
3 ounces dark chocolate (70% cacao)
1 ounce milk chocolate
1/4 teaspoon lavender buds

whipped cream:

1/2 cup cold heavy whipping cream
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract or seeds from 1/4 of a whole vanilla bean pod
1/2 tablespoon granulated white sugar
For whipped cream, place cold cream, vanilla, and sugar into a cold mixing bowl. Beat the mixture with a whisk or mixer until stiff peaks form. keep refrigerated until ready for use.

For hot chocolate, heat milk and lavender over medium heat, whisking occasionally until the milk begins to simmer. Remove from heat and let lavender steep for 5 minutes. Strain lavender and return milk to saucepan. Over medium heat, add chocolate and mix until chocolate is melted and incorporated. Whisk milk mixture for 10-20 seconds until frothy. Pour into mugs or bowls and serve with a dollop of whipped cream.

p.s if you have the time, and i know you do, you should check out the website this recipe came from http://www.alamodejournals.com/

not blogging about him

I've refrained from blogging because everything I want to say is about him-and that would be boring for you to read right?- (continues anyway) he left everything here, his car, his clothes, his guitar. Sometimes I forget that he's gone and come home thinking that he's waiting for me inside. Those are sad days. [When you spend everyday with someone, its hard to know how to function properly when they're gone.]

It's 3 days (i counted that on my fingers) 'till camp. I want to be excited about it but i'm too worried to look forward to a week away from home. I am, however, looking forward to seeing people I haven't seen in forever-people I love. Everything has been a bit mixed up lately, there have been too many strong emotions in my brain and now i think its a bit tired.

[today-one year]today is special because we've been going out for 10months. this is an achievement for me (everyday is an achievement for me)

2days ago I finished the inheritance series. I'm not sure if i can recommend it-some parts were good, but mostly it just reminded me of lord of the rings and how much better lord of the rings is. (can you wish some lovely weather on capetown?)

pastel thoughts

advent calendar time is upon us! I dont know why we dont have advent calendars all year round-it would make counting down to big events even more exciting. In the weeks leading up to christmas family life undergoes significant changes; it becomes acceptable to be found eating all the christmas biscuits that were only baked the day before, it is normal to have had at least 2 mince pies before breakfast and any tensions that may exist in the family can be easily soothed by playing traditional christmas carols. And with the addition of hot weather, it is easily the most wonderful time of the year

Today my head is filled with pastel coloured daydreams (not yet bright sparkly red and green christmas daydreams with flashing lights) this is mostly due to the skirt J made me, and my nailpolish, and the haziness outside, and tea, and innocent happiness that seems to have infiltrated my consciousness

an aside: i am in love with the new florence and the machine album. lalalala